"What? 8 California Rolls for R40? Get out of my face waitron. I dont care how well-meaning or cute you are.What kind of highway-robbery establishment is this? Maybe next time i book for Willoughbys, you can just take my bank account details over the phone and thieve from there!!"
I mean, after all, who would pay such ludicrous moneys for sushi when such a disproportionate amount of sushi specials exist in this city. One can't even swing an eel anymore without hitting a specials menu.
Beluga, Sevruga, Pepeneros, Codfather, FoodLovers, Blowfish, CTFM, Tong Lok.
And I'm sure there's many more. All of these fine establishments lure in street-wise Capetonians for 'half-price' or 'blue plate' specials daily. Not just on Tuesday between 10:27am and 4:39pm or on every third Sunday of the month - but ALL THE TIME (almost).
So suddenly, you go to a 'no-specials' Sushi restaurant, and your nigiri causes a gag reflex because of the irrepressible feeling of theft it's served with.
We're spoilt. And we should embrace it.
The rest of the world says they're seeing a serious global Tuna shortage.
I laugh in the face of the world as I chug my rainbow roll and pay in R5 coins.
It's so cheap, one can even bathe in it